How to Find Peace Through Forgiveness
“To forgive and to never forget is to never forgive in the first place.” Simply put, you’ve sometimes got to let go of what happened in order to begin to move forward. Letting go can be the most difficult part. There is an ancient Hawaiian forgiveness process called Ho’oponopono that makes the process feel easy.
In this idea of forgiving and forgetting, you don’t forget what happened, you forget the negative aspects of what happened, and you retain the wisdom. The Hawaiians have a term called, "Ano'ai." Ano is seed. Ai means to eat, or to bring it within. Within every situation in life, there is a seed that comes from that lesson. In every experience, there is a deeper lesson. If you bring that seed within, you learn from it and you move forward.
Matt James Ph.D says: The biggest stumbling block to people gaining forgiveness is that they think that by letting it go, it somehow lets someone off the hook. There are some people that say, “I am not going to forgive that person because…” One of my students in Los Angeles actually said, “I am not going to forgive my ex because he needs to suffer a little bit more.” I remember looking at her from the stage and asking her in a very simple and gentle way, “How does you holding on to your baggage make him suffer?” She looked up at me and said, “Yeah, it doesn’t, but I don’t want to be friends with him anymore.” I explained that it doesn’t mean you have to be friends, it means you’re done with the baggage, you can be done with that person, and you can move on.
Ho’oponopono can be done with three different types of individuals.
The first one is someone who has wronged you. That is the more traditional approach. The technique is used to help you overcome baggage with someone who has crossed over a boundary.
The second type of person is someone you love. This one is not talked about very much, oddly enough. Because you love them, and you want to re-connect and strengthen that bond, the idea is to forgive, gain forgiveness, disconnect to reconnect and strengthen that connection. It is a great tool to help married couples go through the process and shift their relationship with each other using Ho’oponopono.
The third type of person this can be done with is someone who you have lost. Someone who is no longer with you. So that you can be free of any of the sadness and let that person live on in your memories.
“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” - Jonathan Lockwood Huie
How to practice it in 4 simple steps:
There are four simple steps to this method, and the order is not that important.
Repentance, Forgiveness, Gratitude and Love are the only forces at work – but these forces have amazing power.
The best part of of Ho’oponopono is you can do it yourself, you don’t need anyone else to be there, you don’t need anyone to hear you. You can “say” the words in your head.
The power is in the feeling and in the willingness of the Universe to forgive and love.
I'm sorry
Please, forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.
1- Repentance – I'm sorry
You are responsible for everything in your mind, even if it seems to be “out there.” Once you realize that, it’s very natural to feel sorry. This realization can be painful, and you will likely resist accepting responsibility for the “out there” kind of problems until you start to practice this method on your more obvious “in here” problems and see results.
2- Ask Forgiveness – Please, forgive me
Don’t worry about who you’re asking. Just ask! PLEASE FORGIVE ME. Say it over and over. Mean it. Remember your remorse from step 1 as you ask to be forgiven.
3- Gratitude – Thank you
Say “THANK YOU” – again it doesn’t really matter who or what you’re thanking. Thank your body for all it does for you. Thank yourself for being the best you can be. Thank God. Thank the Universe. Thank whatever it was that just forgave you. Just keep saying THANK YOU.
4- Love – I love you
This can also be step 1. Say I LOVE YOU. Say it to your body, say it to yourself. Say I LOVE YOU to the air you breathe, to the house that shelters you. Say I LOVE YOU to your challenges. Say it over and over. Mean it. Feel it. There is nothing as powerful as Love.
That’s it. The whole practice in a nutshell. Simple and amazingly effective.
Sources:
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/focus-forgiveness/201810/how-find-peace-through-forgiveness
Watch this guided meditation from Ana Marinho to open your heart chakra to give and receive forgiveness. Watch the video below or click here.
Do you want professional help?
Ana can help you. She offers in-person ( South Charlotte -NC) and virtual sessions.